Something old, something new...

No, I'm not referring to another wedding.  Though there have been obscenely many in the past year.  Heaven forbid, it'd be me next, and I don't think I could stand a man long enough to agree to live with him for the rest of my life and/or bear his children.  Not unless he's like one of my fictional character crushes.  Perhaps I'd better not comment.

But no, I'm referring to the end of the year.  Ever notice that there's a lot of somethings at the close of the calendar year?  Something old ending, something new taking its place, definitely something blue about all that.  And borrowed.  Well, I always meant to give that camera back, but Christmas present it is, and now with a plethora of picture-taking devices at my disposal I'm in search of a finished project.  And there have been many...attempts.

Due to a lack of photogenic items, I'm including progress notes on this familiar "beauty," taken with new camera number 1 aka new new camera (number 2 being new old borrowed camera, naturally).

 Yes, I know that's a lot of the same shot, but I was playing with macros.  So much to learn, so little time and patience.  Maybe my sister's right about the whole ADHD runs in our family hypothesis.

 Anyhoo, I suspect Daleks may figure into at least one of my upcoming projects, but the one I'm thinking of will have to stay under wraps for the next several months.  So will the sand dollars.  Bollocks.  Let's talk hats.









Hats?  Why hats?  Because, frankly, by the grace of a last-minute gift idea swap, I was spared the frustration of handing my dad a somewhat limp and lifeless version of a driving cap.  Many of you have probably had a fair amount of success with the Morgan cap from Knitty.  As for me, I found the short row brim/peak/thingy conducive to one thing: holes.  My edges had a tendency to resemble Swiss cheese.  Mmmm...French onion soup with melted Swiss.  So on that note, for my next hat, I plan to play around with double-knit.  I've done it before with iPod holders and the like, so it could work.  Besides, as my sister pointed out...
Sis: "You can hide quite a lot in a double knit..."
Me: "Without shaving your head.  Or loosening your sphincters."

Oh, I'm sure she only meant yarn ends.

The Christmas Special

Surely by now my 2 readers must think I've forgotten them.  This is not to say I have, but between cold and flu season, residency interviews, and Henry scarf, posting project pictures has been a bit low on the priorities list.  Not that I haven't been up to my usual plotting and mayhem.  The lace will fly again...someday.  Maybe even in time for the 12th Doctor to pick up his screwdriver.

In the meantime, in the stand-alone tradition of Christmas specials, I do have a project to show off.  It's even red and festive.

 Well, I don't know what to call it.  Red party dress just seems so...obvious.  Plus I kept having thoughts of "Henry V" while making it and "Downton Abbey" while blogging about it.  The velvet and lace, perhaps?  The slightly medieval coloring?  The severity that's something between Mary Tudor and Lady Mary Crawley?  How about "Project PBS"?  For "pure bull----"

 Also, if you notice the strategic placement of waist folds, it's because I apparently forget to tailor to my own "petite" figure until I realize my torso simply isn't that long.  Now, why did that look better on the 6-foot coat rack in my head?  Just kidding, now excuse me while I go eat a sandwich.

And speaking of Christmas specials, while I go ready my hankie and the little ThinkPad that could(n't) for the day after Christmas when I will be ringing in another birthday with "The Time of the Doctor" on iTunes download (assuming it's up by then), I too would like the opportunity to sound off even though the big friendly "comment" button on the "What do you love most about the Eleventh Doctor" web page is conspicuously missing.  Love/hate technology, don't you?  So here goes my #12DaysOfWho love note, and please don't hold it against me.

For starters, his fashion sense, the Drunk Giraffe, that childish twinkle in those puppy dog eyes and the smile that could melt rocks never mind human hearts.  That sense of wonder even when a millennium and a dozen lifetimes seem to show nothing but sorrow and loss.  A fascination with stories.  A renewed interest in desserts and a reminder of what it means to accept the title of "doctor."  You never forget your first, and oh what a first!  Thank you, Matt Smith.  I take comfort in the knowledge that you will never read these lines because I don't think I could live down the embarrassment otherwise. :-p

Happy now?  Shut up and happy holidays.

Dissociations

It's concert weekend, so my brain is in disjointed mode by default.  CMC has a tendency to self-select for obscenely educated people (we sing classical music, for crying out loud, and experience works of staggering genius with reasonable frequency), so it shouldn't surprise me that before our performance yesterday I was treated to some of my colleagues lamenting the demise of proper spelling in higher education.  Though my inner linguistic nerd imp did sort of want to play devil's advocate and point out that English spelling wasn't standardized until the 18th century and yet Shakespeare and Milton got by just fine.  Not that social media and pop music feel like they should inhabit the same intellectual real estate...should they?

Then, naturally, I started ruminating on the other odd creative associations and dissociations swimming around in my brain.  Some of which are even related to knitting and sewing.

Exhibit A: Project LRD (Little Red Dress.  Duh!)

Originally, this was based on a rather fetching little red velvet and lace number from Groupon Goods.  It didn't come in my size.  Those who are of unusual size...make their own duds?

As for weird associations, um, speaking of Shakespeare, I started cutting and piecing fabric for this dress while watching PBS Great Performances.  And now I suppose every time I wear the thing I'll think of Henry V's St Crispin's Day speech.  That or "Once more unto the breach."  You were expecting Hamlet's soliloquy?







Exhibit B: that damn scarf (pictures not included)

Those of you who are curious, it's the Henry scarf (heh, Henry again, how appropriate) from knitty.com.  A friend of mine requested a scarf for a birthday gift sometime around the beginning of the month, and I've been making painstaking progress on it ever since.  Yesterday after the concert I decided to put in one more pattern repeat before the high wore off.  Big mistake, since it took me an entire 2-hour movie to do so.  Doesn't that kid that gets turned into a black cat in "Hocus Pocus" look familiar though?  Oh...probably 'cause I've been watching him solve crimes during my knitting/NCIS marathons (actually I rather miss those and will need a few in order to finish this damn scarf).  Though actually Henry gets associated with witches and other Halloweeny things: Addams Family, Harry Potter, Food Network's Halloween Wars, you get the idea.  And I'm getting a sweet tooth.

Speaking of dissociations, apropos of nothing at all except I'm going to be traveling on Halloween and won't get a chance to wear it, voila my awesome costume of awesomeness.  Generic time traveler, if you must know, but when one has a closet stocked with glorious costume pieces...

This post brought to you by the letter K.  For "knitwit."  Suggested by one of my fellow CMC-ers, should I ever need an additional blog name.  Or something.

A Study in Scarlet

I just submitted my second residency application this afternoon.  This is apropos of absolutely nothing, but I had the urge to announce it to somebody somewhere as a reason to celebrate.  So, to residency applications?  Seems like a weird toast.  Better to knit something instead, or maybe write about a knitting project.

Anyone who knows me knows my attitude towards socks.  Sure, there are all these wonderful yarns and clever patterns made specifically for the art of sock-making, and sure I don't suffer from second-glove syndrome that badly.  But, meh, socks.  Who needs 'em?  Unless, of course, one is looking for a quick project to take one's mind off other things (looming deadlines and lack of weekends, for instance) and has limited quantities of leftover yarn to get rid of.  Then one turns to things like...fishnet stockings?

The following is my list of reactions and amendments to the Lolita pattern from knitty.com, link included so you can follow along.  I'm what you might refer to as a "creative" knitter, so let the bullshit commence.

 Chapter 1: Casting On
"What the ---- is a figure-8 cast-on?" she asks, flummoxed right off the bat.  Actually, scroll down a little further, to the link labeled "short-row heel."  When you click that link it'll show you how to do a short-row...toe, but under that are your instructions for the figure-8.  Awesome.

Chapter 2: Mutations for Mutants
Do I have freakishly short toes?  Um...maybe.  Turns out this pattern takes a lot of trying on and adjusting of repeats.  Think I did 2 repeats and then had to plunge into the lace rounds.  Also, 4 inches from the heel is not a long space for a US size 5-1/4 foot...

Chapter 3: Twisty...
And turny.  Wibbly wobbly timey wimey?  This pattern spins up the foot and leg, much to my surprise and dismay while trying to fit and block.  Might want to remember where the beginning of your round is.

Chapter 4: Heel Instructions Are For Sissies
So, about that short-row heel.  Any short-row heel will do?  I finally settled with trial-and-erroring this one, found thanks to the miracle of Google/Bing.

Chapter 5: Grow a Pair, Knit in the Round
My warped aesthetic sense found the gaping hole over the calf a little disconcerting.  To do the entire pattern in the round, turn those sl1 k1s at the beginning and end of the row in Pattern 3 into knit stitches.  You will find yourself doing a total of at least 5 increase blocks if you hope to get the thing on your leg (so pace yourself accordingly), and for those your inc pattern will be something like this:
Round 1: k1, m1, k1 *yo, k2tog, rep from * to last 2 sts, k1, m1, k1.
Round 2: knit.
Round 3: k1, m1, *yo, skp, rep from * to last st, m1, k1.
Round 4: knit.

Chapter 6: How Big Is This Cuff Anyway?
So at the cuff I went to straight needles/knitting flat.  But seriously, how many repeats of a 4-row block?  I stuck with just enough for 3 eyelets down either side and left it at that.  On a side note, was it just me, or did it seem like the ribbing was uneven?  I'm pretty sure one of my stockings got a clump of 4 stockinette stitches on one side and 2 on the other.  Can't even speak for the other sock.  Holy arithmetic, Batman!



And yet for all that, they came out...rather nice.  If nice is the word for a pair of scarlet fishnets.  What would Irene Adler do?  Yes, I'm well aware that's the wrong story, but I'd like to think she'd appreciate the socks.  Oh, socks.

Necessity's a Mother

Mother of invention?  Um...not exactly.  But at the moment I can finally boast 2 finished sleeves for Cecilia sweater.  In fact, here they are in all their unblocked glory.

Unfortunately the reason for this embarrassment of riches is a little, well, embarrassing.

I have to call myself a writer because, well, I write.  Obsessively.  For the hell of it and for no particular reason at all.  I also have to call myself a writer because I'm as weird in my writing habits as any established author.  Mechanical pencil and composition book?  Check.  Massive swathes of erasing and crossing out?  Check.  Word documents on Open Office?  Check.  All saved on a single 10-year-old flashdrive with no other purpose but to contain every poem, story, novel fragment, and brain dump accumulated over an entire decade?  Check.  No backup?  Come on, people, you mean you haven't seen stupider writing tactics?  My hearty congratulations, and may I suggest you stop reading my blog and go check out a real book.  While I wait for a guy named Lou in Irvine, CA, to receive what's left of my flashdrive and recover my collected works from what I can only hope is the damn thing's still-functioning brain.  Figures it's the hundredth or so time I knock my laptop off the couch with the drive still plugged in that the USB connector decides to give up the ghost and snap clean (or rather, jaggedly) off.  Or is it the hundred-and-first?

Anyhoo, here I sit with aching fingers and teeming brain (cross-reference Keats on that one, will ya, and correct me if I'm wrong?), with nothing to save my projects to besides my bastard lovechild of a cockroach and a brick wall, aka my ThinkPad, and no excuse not to make headway on some knitting.  At least while I still have both arms, both legs, and no flashdrive.

Get off my soapbox!

Once in a blue moon I get the urge to talk one of the forbidden subjects, i.e. politics, religion, sex.  Most of the time I find it easily suppressible with a good knitting project and a glass of wine or several.  And then I got bogged down in 1930s tunic sweater (which is going to end up 1980s midriff sweater at the rate I'm going) and started getting distracted by Facebook.  It turns out (to borrow a Douglas Adams-ism) that I've got a lot of very politically minded Facebook friends.  You get those too?  The ones that really don't post at all except to rant about gun laws and race relations and birth control and Obamacare (that's for those of us who live stateside, by the way--the rest of you can just point and laugh if you want to)?  This is my answer to them.  Disclaimer, please stop reading if you are easily offended and/or just wanted to get into the knitting pretty pretty please.

Anyhoo, obviously I'm not one to talk as an American.  I was born outside the country, grew up with my ears full of Chinese idioms and my belly full of rice and stir-fry, and pretty much hung out with whoever didn't judge me by the slant of my eyes or my Oxford English vocabulary.  But if you want to get to know the very core of your country, you check with the people with the least amount of "foreign" influence.  The ones who haven't traveled outside the country--heck, probably haven't left the state if they could help it--who grew up in the same place generation after generation, and whose great-great-grandchildren will probably die on the same piece of land their ancestors were born on.  Horry County, SC, seems as reasonable a study population as any where that's concerned.  And taking an informal poll (readily volunteered, mind) of the more vocal locals (ooh, that was an awful rhyme if I ever heard one), this is what I've found.  Keeping in mind that this is in monetary terms, not idealistic ones, i.e. what will you shell out your hard-earned inflatable dollar for.  You taking notes, Mr. President?

The quintessential American does not want to pay for:
1) anything involving the word "government"
2) healthcare
3) sex ed/birth control/women's issues (still trying to figure out if "children" counts in this category or healthcare)
4) education
5) the arts
6) rainforests in Africa/South America, the hole in the ozone layer, insert latest environmental thingy here

The quintessential American will gladly pay for:
1) guns
2) oil (though at a reduced price like it used to be)
3) religion (do I add "fetuses" to this one, or is that a separate issue?)
4) sports
5) a standing army

On a related note (see category 2, number 4 above), anybody else wonder what would happen if we turned some of the bigger and more frustrating international summits into mud-wrestling matches?  For one thing, I think they'd get a bigger audience.

That might just about do it.  Should be a long while before I do this again, and seriously, I never judge a knitter by his/her political beliefs, so please extend me the same benefit of a doubt and ignore this post if you're easily offended.  And also, get off my soapbox!

Regenerations

As I've mentioned about a gazillion times, this fall I was...sort of gently coerced...to give up my Claudette scarf and wristwarmers for a good cause (yes, I consider funding for the arts a good cause, don't make me get on my soapbox now).  Winter came and went, and I used heavier/warmer stuff while concentrating on lace.  In early spring, I wished I hadn't stupidly offered up nice warm scraps for the price of a discount concert ticket, but projects came and went and I couldn't really spare the time.  But with summer starting to wind down, it was time to re-evaluate my to-do list.

Small victories, indeed, but on the eve of the announcement of the next Doctor, I officially present my "regenerated" scarf and wristwarmer set.  Like the Doctor, it seems to have changed its face (earthier colorway, less crochet-work on the scarf and more coverage on the wristwarmers).  If it deserves a different name than "Claudette," I would completely understand.  One day I might even come up with a good one.

For yarn, I'd estimate this at...worsted-plus?  Novelty/handspun with varying thicknesses along the length welcome.

 Claudette gloves:

Cast on 24 sts and work in the round.
Ribbing: k1p1 around for 9 rounds or desired length.
Body: knit even 6 rounds or desired length.

Thumb gusset:
round 1: k12, place marker, m1, k1, place marker, k to end of round
round 2: knit
round 3: k12, sl marker, m1, k3, sl marker, k to end of round
round 4: knit
repeat increases until you have 11 sts between markers, knit 1 round, then knit to marker, slip sts between markers to waste yarn, co 1 st, knit to end of round.

Body: knit 6 rows or to desired length, then work in k1p1 rib for 6 rows or desired length.  Bind off.

Thumb:
transfer sts on waste yarn to needles.
k1 round, pick up and knit 2 sts over cast-off edge (13 sts total)
next round: k to last 3 sts, knit those 3 together using centered double decrease of choice (10 sts total).
knit 3 rounds or to desired length.
work k1p1 rib 6 rounds or desired length.  Bind off.

 Claudette scarf:
Cast on 28 stitches or desired width.
Knit 2 rows (garter stitch border).
Next row (body): k2, k1p1 to last 2 sts, k2 (the k2s form the garter stitch border).
Repeat body row to desired length or until almost out of yarn.
Bind off.
Pick up last stitch in bind-off on crochet needle, chain 12 sts, attach to body.  Repeat crochet loops evenly across bottom of work (mine formed 4 even loops on each side--see pics).
Pick up 1 stitch at opposite end of scarf and repeat crochet loops.





Well, so much for that.   Seems a bit anticlimactic.  And still not a ginger.

Vacation Blues

You'd think I'd be a little more productive with all this time on my hands.  That, it seems, is the problem.  6 shortcake biscuits, 1 bowl of custard, and 2 peach (peach/pecan/bourbon?  how Deep South can we get?) pound cakes later, and I am...wet-blocking double-secret-probation project.  Been wet-blocking it since night before last, I think.  One of these days, I'll get the moisture ratio right.

Also on the needles: Claudette wrist-warmer #1!  Though it turns out my only sufficient skeins of Moda-Dea novelty yarn are of a colorway more Renoir than Monet.  Come to think of it, it's more Klimt than Renoir.  Methinks I might have to rename the result, though honestly I'll wear them just the same.  Unless somebody decides to auction them off again.  Which is entirely possible.

Well, since discussing double-secret-probie project (DSP?  I'm lazy.) is right out and I am decidedly lacking in pictures of everything else I'm procrastinating on, I decided to start a new blog.  This one is pretty much all pictures.  Woohoo!  Spent way more time than I can really justify on the panels for Episode 1.  But really, when I was torching my wet-block monstrosity, I kept thinking in bad puns, and the result was "Dr. Strangeknits: Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Embrace the Laceweight."  You may find it here.

On that note, perhaps it's time to figure out how to make productive use of my remaining vacation.

Waiting for Godot

One day the absurdities of call will stop hitting me over the head with their innate existentialism.  I mean, here I am waiting for the office to roll the phone lines over to me so that I can answer questions about everything from fevers to constipation, all of which I know are guaranteed to happen when I try to 1) sleep, 2) drive, 3) cook/eat, 4) brush my teeth, 5) hit the loo.  I wonder how many traffic tickets happen as a result of doctors answering their phones.

In the meantime, of course, it occurs to me I haven't blogged in a while.  This is partly deliberate since I have a project flying stealth on the needles for the foreseeable future.  My new life goal, by the way, is to produce a knitty.com-worthy pattern.  So far this one looks promising, which means (surprise, surprise!) all my other projects are currently on hold.  Including Cecilia sweater, Claudette scarf/wristwarmers, and the ever-procrastinated-on Dalek cross-stitch.  Well, what else is new?

Baking front hasn't been idle, though.  I really need to do this bourbon peach pie again sometime, especially paired with salted caramel ice cream.  Oh, joy!

(Easy As) Bourbon Peach Pie

Crust:
1-1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 stick unsalted butter, cut into small pieces
1-2 tbsp water

Filling:
2 medium yellow peaches, sliced
2 tbsp brown sugar (or to taste)
splash of bourbon (to taste)
1 tbsp flour for thickening

1.  Combine flour and butter in mixing bowl, work by hand or mixer until mixture resembles wet crumbs/balls.
2.  Add water 1 tbsp at a time until dough just forms.  Refrigerate until ready to roll out.
3.  Preheat oven to 350 degrees (F).
4.  Combine filling ingredients and mix well.
5.  Divide dough roughly 2:1.  Roll larger ball into circle that covers bottom of pie tin and press into tin.
6.  Pour peach mixture into crust.
7.  Roll smaller dough ball into thin circle, cover top of pie and press together at edges.  Pierce top a few times to allow venting.
8.  Bake 45-60 min, checking after 30 min and every 10 min thereafter.  Crust should turn lightly golden and filling should partly caramelize.
9.  Serve warm and topped with ice cream.  Reheats well in microwave.
10.  Enjoy!

And that's all she wrote.  1 more hour until the dreaded call begins.  When does vacation start again?

Speaking of 1930s-inspired tunic sweaters...

Well, we were.  You'll have to pay attention next time.  No, not really: speaking of 1930s-inspired tunic sweaters, none were actually harmed in the making of this post.  Or, you know, completed.  Long stretches of plot, trial, error, rip, and re-trial in front of the TV ('cause, come on, it's not like I can get off the couch while tangled in yard upon yard of heavy laceweight), and one begins to long for the polar opposite of endless Estonian lace and stockinette and shaping.  Like textured stitches.  Dpns.  Multiples of twos and threes.  Fast cast-on and cast-off.  Minimal blocking.  Preferably somewhat unisex.

 Enter McGee.  NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee, to be exact.  Cute, brainy, generous.  Able to hack into any secure government server at the drop of a hat.  Mystery writer on the down-low.  It was love at first sight.  Did I mention beautiful hands and a predilection for vertical stripes?  Eureka, a pattern was born!  Fingerless gloves, naturally.  K1p2 rib and an elongated version of moss stitch that I jokingly dubbed "lichen" (plant kingdom jokes FTW!) play on the vertical stripes theme.  Sizing is mathematical but does not require an Ivy League degree or several to achieve--just pick your multiples of 2, 3, and 6, and run with it.  In the lightly shimmery blue sportweight it makes you wonder what you ever really needed that finicky old lace for.  In gray worsted-weight it suggests the linkiness of chain mail while leaving the fingertips free for keyboards and tablets yet providing a bit of warmth for midwinter crime scene investigations.  Or more likely all-night MMO-RPG sessions.  Here's looking at you, Elflord.

 Without further ado, my first "real" pattern: McGee/Dear Abby

 Lichen stitch:
Rounds 1-3: k1p1 to end
Rounds 4-6: p1k1 to end
Repeat in multiples of 3 rounds ad infinitum

Cuff:
Using dpns or circulars, co 36 sts (or multiple of 6 for gauge).  Join and work in round.
k1p2 to end of round.  Repeat for total of 12 rounds or until desired length.

Body:
Work 6 rounds in lichen stitch, then shape thumb gusset.

Thumb gusset:
Round 1: work lichen stitch for 18 sts, pm, m1, p1, m1, pm, work lichen stitch to end of round.
Round 2-3: work lichen stitch 18 sts, sl marker, k1, p1, k1, sl marker, work lichen stitch to end of round.
Round 4: work lichen stitch 18 sts, sl marker, m1, work lichen stitch to next marker, m1, sl marker, work lichen stitch to end of round.
Round 5-6: work lichen stitch 18 sts, sl marker, work lichen stitch to marker, sl marker, work lichen stitch to end of round.
Note: after every other increase round, you will be working a knit stitch on either side of the marker.  This is intentional, so, to quote Ford Prefect in the Hitchhiker's Guide series, "Don't panic."
Repeat rounds 4-6 until you have 15 sts between the markers.
Next round: work lichen stitch to marker, transfer stitches between markers to waste yarn, co 1 stitch across the gap, work lichen stitch to end of round.
Work lichen stitch 6 more rounds or until glove body covers MCP joints--I mean 1st knuckles!

Little finger:
Round 1: work 1st 4 sts in lichen stitch, transfer subsequent sts to waste yarn until last 4 sts, co 2 sts across gap, work last 4 sts in lichen stitch. 10 sts total.
Work in lichen stitch for 8 more rounds (9 total) or until desired length.
Bind off.

Ring finger:
Round 1: transfer next 4 sts adjacent to little finger on front and back of glove to needles.  Work 1st 4 sts in lichen stitch, co 2 sts across gap, work last 4 sts in lichen stitch, pick up and knit 2 sts along co edge of little finger.  12 sts total.
Work in lichen stitch for 11 more rounds (12 rounds total) or until desired length.
Bind off.

Middle finger:
Round 1: transfer next 5 sts on front and back of glove to needles.  Work 1st 5 sts in lichen st, co 2 sts, work last 5 sts in lichen st, pick up and knit 2 sts along co edge of ring finger.  14 sts total.
Work in lichen stitch 11 more rounds or until desired length.
Bind off.

Index finger:
Round 1: transfer remaining 10 sts to needles.  Work in lichen st, pick up and knit 2 sts along co edge of middle finger.  12 sts total.
Work in lichen stitch 8 more rounds or until desired length.
Bind off.

Thumb:
Round 1: transfer the 15 held sts to needles.  Work in lichen st, pick up and knit 3 sts along co edge of body.  18 sts total.
Round 2: Work in lichen st to last 3 sts, sk2p (slip 1, k2tog, psso).  16 sts total.
Work in lichen st 4 more rounds or until desired length.
Bind off.

Repeat everything for second glove (hey, ambidextrous pattern!  Told you it was simple!).

Weave in ends to finish, and enjoy!

fruity custardy tarty things!

 

And other distractions from knitting, I should say.  Well, there's only so much time one can spend stuck on the couch with laceweight merino before the stir-craziness hits.  Or the hand cramps.  Or the Charlie horses.  Besides, it's nice being able to work in a medium where the worst case scenario involves eating the screw-ups.  So, um, behold my attempt to combine pastry crust, fruit, and custard into something vaguely edible (above).  One day they might even turn out pretty.  Though I'll settle for not being impossible to pry out of their tinfoil casings.  Then maybe the recipe would be worth disseminating.

In other news, apparently plastic to-go dishes can double as decor.  Just add water, knockout roses too short to go in a vase, and tea-lights, and voila instant elegance.  And I'd been wondering what to do with my living room to make it look more me and less previous occupants.  Fun with flowers and fire, apparently.  Yeah, wut?

Oh, and I promise I'm actually making progress on lace sleeve.  Pictures to follow.  Meanwhile, have some soothing music or something...
I kid, but I did manage to snap some decent photos at the Bellagio in Vegas the other weekend, so at least you might enjoy the view.

The ??? Post

I'm doing penance for having gone a whole month without sticking so much as a comma into blog territory.  What I offer up in contrition is a free scarf pattern, listed here.  Thanks be to a sister who not only knows who Franklin Habit is, but just might love his hilariously informative "Stitches in Time" column as much as I do.

Not that I've been idle.  These much-abused hands have done their share of casting on, casting off, ripping, re-casting-off, cursing, ripping, and repeating.  Also I think I might be running low on sewing thread.  Behold, reversible aprons...

 And Holden shawlette.

And what have said much-abused hands learned from these adventures that have kept them from the blogsphere?  For starters, if you're going to order patterned fabric on a whim, be prepared to scale down your apron at a moment's notice.  There's a reason why the water lilies number has a narrower "skirt" than retro pink flowers does: it has nothing to do with planning.

Also, is it possible that most knitters out there pull their stitches tighter than a miser's purse?  I could've sworn Holden called for 440 yards of sport-weight yarn.  So why, using 2 skeins of approximately 230 yards of yarn each, recommended to me at Knit 'n Purl, did I manage to come up an entire pattern repeat short?  By the way, that picot edge was brutal, and not to be attempted if you don't have at least 100 yards left over.  Did anybody else start thinking about that high school geography lesson about the effect of coastlines on the measurement of borders?  Or the math lesson about area vs volume?  Um...never mind.

Which sort of roundaboutly brings me to one of my other observations of the day.  It occurred to me during my morning walk that at almost 30 and with most of my student loans paid off, I am probably old enough and financially secure enough to qualify as eccentric, meaning it's now perfectly acceptable for me to wrap a hand-knit lace scarf around my shoulders and comb the waves like a historical relic.  Not that I planned to do that for long.  It happens to be not just Memorial Day weekend at the beach, but Biker Weekend.  Which I take to mean that the best use of my time just might involve reworking lace patterns and watching food porn.  Or, less hunger-inducing, the SVU/NCIS marathon on USA.  Though that will probably bring on dreams of helping Stabler and Benson solve the rape and murder of a female naval officer that somehow involves a US-size-7 circular knitting needle, all while rocking an Abby-esque outfit and writing about the whole thing on McGee's typewriter.  Hey, I never said my dreams made sense, but they can be quite entertaining.  And on that note it's probably time to finish my tea and get cracking.  And hopefully not mix up ssk and psso in my head ever again.  Damn left-leaning decreases.  Get off my lawn!

The cure to writer's block...

...clearly isn't lace-knitting.  On the other hand, I did spend the weekend terrifying the cat by indulging this inexplicable need to VACUUM ALL THE FLOORS! and after that there was little to do but settle my blown eardrums in for a concerted bit of shawl-making.  Result: Omelet is officially off the needles.  Get excited!  Well, or not, obviously, but somebody's bound to love the pretty pictures.  Turns out it's this beautiful frothy bit of style-over-substance when you do it in true laceweight and big needles.  But who needs substance anyway?  Behold!

Slow Children at Play

Sometimes I wish I'd listened to my mother and become a pathologist.  It's hard not to have creative block when your job isn't exactly the stuff of action movies: "Today I diagnosed 6 people with flu (again), argued the semantics of asthma, and got chewed out/written up for not giving a family the answer they wanted to hear in the tone they wanted to hear it in."  Yeah, that's pretty much a day in the life.  At least dead people and tissue specimens complain less.  And I love a good detective story.  Though I did have that pesky urge to vomit all through first-year anatomy and histology.  Nothing a good mask, chronic sinusitis, and a steady supply of Dramamine can't fix, right?  Or maybe I've just watched too many episodes of NCIS while on call waiting for the phone to ring for the eleventy-billionth time, and Ducky is awesome and I want his job.

Be that as it may, I am the slow child at play in question (thank the gods my easily-offended patient families would never deign to read this blog).  You can always tell how the creative juices are flowing by how many times I fudge a section on lace-knitting.  Omelet shawl is stubbornly still on the needles, and it's a very good thing it's so forgiving.  The pencil line marks where I've finally gotten to in the pattern after much cursing and ripping down to the lifeline (again, hooray lifelines!) and re-knitting.  While stone-cold sober.  This says much about my mental state.

And below is an up-close-and-personal look at the stitches so far.  If you can't tell where I've fudged, neither will I.

Though speaking of fudge, I have successfully managed mousse.  Oddly enough, it's easier than custard.  If by easy you mean it turns out nicely even if you don't have a functional electric mixer and are forced to hand-whisk your egg whites into submission.  Also, teacups make a dainty and quirky serving vehicle if you're into presentation.

If you're curious about the recipe, it's lovingly ripped off and halved from a book called "The Totally Chocolate Cookbook."  Ripped off 'cause I never do anything exactly to specifications, and halved 'cause my experiments have to be small enough to feed one.  2 eggs, separated, 2 tablespoons butter, 2-1/2 ounces chocolate of the bittersweet or semisweet persuasion, 1 teaspoon rum, 1 tiny pinch salt.  Beat egg yolks until smooth (or until pale and increased in volume and your arms are tired), melt chocolate and butter over low heat (makeshift double boiler for the win!), add chocolate/butter mixture and rum to yolks and mix well, beat egg whites and salt until stiff peaks form (ow, the pain!), fold into chocolate mixture until whites just disappear, spoon into ramekins or teacups, cover with plastic wrap, and chill until set.  Makes 4 dainty teacups' worth or probably about 3 normal-serving-size ramekins.

So, yeah, enjoy the humble offerings of my existential crisis while I figure out how to make National Poetry Month count.  Or...something.

Brush Up Your Shakespeare

I had one of my oh-shit moments today, but not over what I normally expect.  For someone who spent most of her childhood rocking a semi-photographic memory, I have a lot of brain farts.  You know, the tip-of-your-tongue, almost-have-it, it's-buried-in-there-somewhere-in-all-the-clutter mental malfunctions that make everyday life, well, interesting.  Never mind that it also took me almost to the checkout line in the grocery store to remember I needed garlic.  No, what I'm referring to is my Shakespeareamnesia moments.  I used to be able to quote "Romeo and Juliet" like most people quote Dr. Seuss.  This was only partly thanks to the frenetic movie version that came out when I was in middle school/high school.  You know which one I mean.  If you don't, well, I just dated myself.  Either way, not remember Friar Lawrence's advice to the young couple as they're about to get married?  For shame.  Especially when I'm trying to use it at the beginning of a poem.

There now, that's off my conscience.  I'm happy to report that with the aid of cable TV and a couple of glasses of wine, I am now finished with chart B of Omelet shawl.  I'd've gotten further still with it if I hadn't dithered away both mornings this weekend "recording" songs at the piano.  Oh, the wonders of smartphones.  All I need now is the ability to use it consistently as a phone.

Oh, I don't have pictures of Omelet shawl?  Pardon me while I go and, um, remedy this little detail.  Eventually.  Assuming I don't get distracted by anything e--ooh, shiny!

Second Ball Syndrome

No, not to be confused with second sock syndrome or an unfortunate predicament of the male anatomy.  It's a plight only suffered by those who are poor/space-limited/old-school enough to shun the "modern" marvel of the yarn-winder, though as a side note, at the Knit 'n Purl hand-balling is still taught as a core competency.  Yes, I know, it still sounds dirty.  Second ball syndrome, as a reminder, is the condition wherein, after a long and arduous session culminating in the production of a passable yarn ball from a very large hank of specialty yarn, one finds oneself plunged into an inexplicably complex tangle of knots in the middle of a previously smooth-sailing second hank.  Regard my tale of woe.

So, it was St. Pat's weekend, I'd just settled down on the couch with a bellyful of homemade corned beef and cabbage (a saga in itself, believe you me), a bottle of Irish red (still haven't reconciled myself to the idea of stouts), Food Network on the telly, and knees that had recovered enough from skein number 1 that I thought, eh, what the heck?  With my usual combination of good intentions and irrational optimism, I pulled skein number 2 of beautiful art-deco-blue shawl yarn out of the shopping bag, draped it over the kneecaps again, and set to work.  For every few yards of balled yarn, I rewarded myself with a swig of beer and a gander at the food porn.  Things went smoothly until about 10 o'clock, when, really, that should've been my tip-off to pack it up, but give up halfway through a yarn skein?  Nevar!

And then I looked down.

"What the--?"  (tugs and realizes mistake).

Knot ball about the size of the yarn ball I'd currently succeeded in making.

OK, don't panic, we can do this.  Whatever you do, don't think longingly about the scissors stowed away at the bottom of the knitting bag.  Fingers are already tired and a little stiff, but what're a few tight knots?  No sweat.

Slow, painstakingly slow progress, revealing about an inch of useable yarn at a time...distal to the knot.  Taking a sip of Irish red every now and again to steel the nerves.  Heck, by now it could be whiskey and I wouldn't care.  Probably better if it was, since my liver's metabolizing at a normal rate and my fingers are free only about every 30 minutes or so and I've been nursing this beer for about 3 hours now.  And are those...adhesions between the strands?  What is this, surgery?  By now the food porn's done and the SVU marathon has come and gone and the TV's halfway through playing "The 40-Year-Old Virgin," and I'm still stuck on the couch with my leg muscles spasming and my fingers going numb and all I wanna do is cut the yarn and start over if I could only find a spot where cutting it would solve all my problems.

And then it comes.  The last knot.  Blessed deliverance.  Heck, by now I'm down to the last few yards of yarn, and it's not like I can feel my legs enough to get up anyway.  I finish winding, gulp down the last of the beer, and look up at the clock.  12:30.  AM.  I've been doing this for 4-1/2 hours.  Luckily my cat doesn't care that I have the vocabulary of a sailor with the added advantage of being able to curse fluently in at least 3 languages.  I vow, this time, that never again will I succumb to the idiocy of hand-balling yarn.  Next time, I'll buy a yarn-winder.

Yeah.  Right.  I went to medical school.  Masochism is in my blood.

Pinch me

...I'm, well, definitely not Irish.  Actually it was going to be "kick me," but that would hurt more.  Probably.  No, I'm not actually asking to be physically abused, I'm just attempting to get into the St. Patrick's Day weekend spirit like my North Myrtle Beach cohabitants.  It's a little odd.  Example: bagpipers warming up behind the sea oats.  In kilts.

And on the crafting front, I have acquired new yarn.  And a new project.  This is what happens after adventures in corned beef and cabbage.  Well, I thought I'd be a good little chef and sear the beef before tossing it into the crock pot.  Not accounting for the fact that meat juice plus hot oil equals a lot of flying hot oil.  So, nursing a stained blouse and a rather nifty pattern of burns on my forearm, I betook myself to the yarn shop to finish a second Knots of Love hat (which, unlike cooking, is something I can count on being able to do consistently).  And to celebrate finishing said hat, I bought the yarn.  It was this beautiful art deco blue and it was calling to me.  Specifically it was calling to me to make it into the Holden Shawlette (see the Knit 'n Purl website for the pattern, or better yet, visit the store :)).  Which now gives me...3 knitting projects on the to-do list, along with a couple of dresses, a steampunk costume, and possibly an apron on the sewing front.  The apron would be if I decide to hand-make a present for wedding number 3 within 12 months.  Wedding number 3?  Seriously?  At least I'm not a bridesmaid?

Wait, where was I?  Anyhoo, I shall leave you with the following image from my Tumblr...account...thingy (mournfulcat.tumblr.com).  Because it's a poetry kind of day.

243

That's an indirect reminder to myself that I have a day job.  As in:  "This is your living, Sherlock, not 240 types of tobacco ash."  "243." (fires up blowtorch).

Would you prefer the alternative?  I was told, in a tweak to my contract in order to preserve some vestige of my sanity (not to mention time to get my hands dirty at the drafting table), that I would get Tuesdays off.  Which gave me two luxuries to brood over in my walks: the loveliness of said days off and the hour of my death.  Keats again, (partly) paraphrased this time, and I suspect the latter will happen first.  This Tuesday will make 3 in a row that I've had to work anyway.  I begin to despair of Tuesdays (which comment, incidentally, sounds like a caption for Raiden, aka Mournful Cat).

But where was I?  Right, speaking of Tuesdays, this is the hat I'm working on last-minute for Knots of Love, and that I promised to drop off at the knitting table at Knit 'n Purl on Tuesday evening.  Still will even if I have to dash over from clinic before the store closes, speeding all the way (I can only assume there are no police officers reading this blog).  I suppose I'll have to finish it by tomorrow night instead of joining the knitting circle on my deadline date.  Well, keeping it cat-hair-free will now become an interesting proposition.  If you'd like a copy of the pattern for your own knitterly edification, you can find it here.

Plans

Here's a preview of coming attractions on the sewing front, assuming I manage one of these days to acquire the perfect storm of time, inspiration, patience, and supplies (you know, fabric, buttons, zippers, trim, the works).  I find myself fascinated by the fashions of the mid-1800s through mid-1900s anyway, and this is not helped along by the Patterns of Fashion book series or the Ralph Lauren fall runway show that my local outlet store happened to con me onto the email list for.  Not that I needed the extra coveting of Turn-of-Last-Century inspired couture to unleash the inner costume designer.  Also, I'm still waiting for the promised/threatened delivery of a Rosie-the-Riveter-esque print.  So, in the meantime, I'm paying it forward.  Feel free to covet.  Or, you know, mock me for the fact that there's no way in hell I'm ever going to get these done, plus Omelet shawl, plus heather green yarn that wants to be 1930s sweater-dress, plus Dalek cross-stitch, plus...well, you get the idea (and I've lost count).

A theme, a theme!

Look it up if you want, it's a quote from a Keats poem.  It also captures my scatter-shot approach to a "knitting" blog.  Let's just say that while Omelet shawl was flying stealth on extra-long circulars, I had an itch to belly up to the piano and belt out a few tunes.  Including the one I hinted at last post.  After recording it on my phone in some obscure Android-platform sound file format and instinctively converting it to mp3 on my computer, I realized...in this day and age, you just can't share sound files like you used to.  So in the spirit of showing off, but without the cajones to actually broadcast on YouTube, the following is my attempt to convert an mp3 file into a video.  I anticipate not a few snickers from Sherlock fans out there, but keep in mind that my muse was not the TV series character at all, since the song was written long before I sucked it up and got cable and discovered actual good stuff on PBS.  Enjoy "Baker Street"...or something.

JDMDPhD and other harebrained notions

I regret to say I haven't accomplished much on the knitting front because I've been even more ADHD than usual.  That said, my weekly progress report goes something like this:

Made a somewhat passable napa cabbage stew for dinners for the week.

Got my car totaled 2 nights ago (alas, poor Tart, I knew her well), and while the insurance companies fight over who covers my rental car, I am essentially SOL in terms of transportation.  Work should be...interesting over the next few weeks.

Spent yesterday evening getting creative with spaghetti.  Well, when you know you only have the contents of your fridge to rely on for the next...how long is it going to be?...you start figuring out interesting ways to incorporate such varied ingredients as tofu and saltine crackers into actual edible concoctions.  Result: slightly vegetarian spaghetti and meatballs.  Gave myself seconds of just sauce, if you must know.

Ingredients: whole wheat spaghetti noodles, diced Roma tomatoes, tomato paste, about a half cup of ground pork, 1 block medium-firm tofu finely chopped, 1 egg, 5 saltine crackers, minced ginger and garlic, and a hodgepodge of spices from my pantry (I think the tally included salt, sugar, fresh-ground black pepper, oregano, red pepper flakes, thyme, and generous helpings of dried basil).  Heat olive oil in saucepan, drop in 2 cloves garlic and cook on medium heat until oil absorbs flavor, discard garlic, drop in diced tomatoes, cook until pasty, add tomato paste and spices and simmer over low heat.  Meanwhile, mix together meat, tofu, egg, saltines, minced garlic and ginger, and spices of your choosing, shape into balls/ball-like structures and brown in a separate pan.  When browned, add to sauce.  Boil spaghetti to desired firmness, drain, place in bowl and ladle sauce on top.  Enjoy.

And finally, decided to put together a recording of a song I wrote around this time last year, now that I finally have 1) a piano, 2) a smartphone, and 3) time on my hands and nothing else I can accomplish seeing as I'm stuck in the house tearing my hair out.  Alas, it seems all social media was equipped for photo and video but not music files.  Huh?  If anyone knows how to work around that, let me know!  Otherwise, I'll spare you both the agony and the amusement.

Oh, right, the title.  Well, my sister and I have decided that one day we're going to start a band.  It'll feature her on vocals and me on piano/backup vocals.  We're going to be called JDMDPhD, after our degrees in chronological order.  Look for us, you know, one of these days, when pigs fly.

Because, because, because

Also in the spirit of who reads this blog anyway, a little test post.  After all, I did start it up under a name that was a Doctor Who reference.  By the way, in real life I'm still working on a collection/book of poems titled "7th and Ocean."  My first book of poetry is called "Spring Cleaning," it's published by Xlibris, and I'd appreciate some customers to contribute to my early-retirement-from-medicine-'cause-it's-killing-me-by-inches-literally fund.  And for more interdimensional storytelling, my other blog is princess-rory.blogspot.com.  Enjoy, my 2 readers and 15 random computers/robots!

The Ballad of River and the Doctor

(for Steve with a thousand curses)

The path of love was never straight and narrow:

I've known it since I stopped you in my sights.

Long gone today, crashing into tomorrow,

You'll count the days, and I'll tally the nights.

I've waited till the heavens dimmed their lights,

I've flown to you unerring as an arrow.

With you I've tipped the scales and set to rights.

I've stolen what I only sought to borrow.

In victory, in pain, in joy, in sorrow,

In stalwart charges and in desperate flights,

I'm there, that twinge, that tingling in the marrow,

That urge to further reaches, greater heights.

And when you've saved the worlds and fought the fights,

I'm there to see you fall, the poisoned arrow

Sharpened in secret through the lonely nights

In this gray cell, without you dank and narrow.

You see, even my love is tinged with sorrow,

Regrets, betrayals, fates and reverse plights.

The butterfly may flap its wings tomorrow

And bring us back into each other's sights.

I see you dancing on the Northern Lights:

What's time to us but a poor good to borrow?

The worlds could end if you stayed in my sights:

I've missed you in my very air-tight marrow.

But call, my love: I'll come like a loosed arrow.

The path of love was never straight and narrow. 

Life, the Universe, and Everything (or Fish Fingers and Custard)

Today is one of my Doctor Who quote days.  Maybe it's 'cause it's a weekend and I'm having one of my usual Sunday afternoon existential crises and really who reads this blog anyway?  But what keeps running through my head is, "The universe is big.  It's vast and complicated and ridiculous, and sometimes, impossible things just happen, and we call them miracles.  900 years, never seen one yet, but this would do me."  Something like that anyway.  And to quote Rory (badly as well), "I could use a ridiculous miracle right about now."

Relax, I waxed philosophical over an attempt at rice pudding too.  Life is like making custard.  Get impatient and crank up the heat, and you end up with a scrambled-egg mess.  Take it too slow and the custard never thickens.  Timing is everything, and maybe if I get those darn custards figured out the rest of my life will fall into place too.

Which is not to say that I didn't end up with a halfway-passable rice pudding.  You know, eventually:

Oh, shut up and enjoy the custard picture and the stealthily snapped shots of Project Wibble hat.

 The pattern, by the way is cast on factor of 8 stitches, knit 4x4 rib until you can't stand it any more, pick up bottom stitches and knit together with live stitches to make doubled cuff, knit 1 row even, change color, knit 2nd color until satisfied, switch back to main color, decrease every however many stitches you feel like to round out the top and then bind off.  Inspiration loosely based on fisherman's knit cap (remember those yellow Gorton's frozen seafood packages?  I...might 'cause one night I had an odd craving for fish fingers and custard).

PW2: pictures might be nice

By the way, these are the mittens in question:

And this is the hat in progress.  Pattern to come...?

PW: progress wreport

Just kidding, the PW stands for Project Wibble.  I've gotten too bored with it to write it all out.  But I am actually done with the mittens and starting the (excruciatingly tedious) hatband now.  The hat I have in mind sort of reminds me of a fisherman's cap.  We'll see how it actually turns out.  Incidentally, between my day job, writing, knitting, baking, and the upcoming growing season with my very own rosebushes to attend to, my forearms are going to either fall off or reach Popeye the sailor man proportions.

But I'm not here to talk about my forearms.  I'm here to see if can actually write out a pattern, albeit a somewhat tediously simple one.  Thing with me and patterns: they're more like guidelines, really, so if you're a newly minted knitter you might prepare for a little bit of confusion off the bat.  But that being said, here goes:

Project Wibble mittens with double-thickness rib cuff:

Cuffs:
Using double-points or circulars, cast on 36 stitches (any multiple of 4 will do when adjusting for size and gauge).  Join and mark beginning of round.
k2 p2, rpt to end of round to set up 2x2 rib
Continue 2x2 rib for about 30 rows or twice the desired cuff length.
Fold cuff in half so the cast-on edge is even with your live stitches.  Pick up stitch along cast-on edge so that it's in front of your first live stitch, then k those 2 sts together.  Repeat until you've got a double-thickness cuff and (hopefully) the same number of stitches (36, right?) you started with.

Body:
Mark beginning and middle of round.  For right glove you'll make your thumb gusset at the beginning of the round, and for the left you'll make it at the end.  Continue 36-stitch rounds in stockinette stitch until you're ready to start your thumbs.

Right glove:
round 1: m1, k1, m1, k to middle marker, sl marker, m1, k1, m1, k to end of round.
round 2 and all even rounds: knit to end of round.
round 3: m1, k3, m1, k to marker, sl marker, m1, k3, m1, k to end of round.
round 5: m1, k5, m1, k to end of round.
Continue thumb gusset increases until your m1-kx-m1 equals desired number of thumb stitches minus 3 (you'll pick up 3 stitches later to close your thumb.  Slip thumb stitches onto holder.
Knit remaining stitches in round until desired length (about 16 rows), then start decreasing.
K2tog at beginning and middle of round for 4 rounds (decrease by 2 sts per round).
K2tog, k2tog at beginning and middle of round for remaining rounds until 6 sts remain (decrease by 4 sts per round).
Place sts on 2 needles, 3 per needle.  Hold parallel, knit together 1 st from each needle, repeat with 2nd set of sts, sl previous stitch over that new stitch, repeat with last 2 sts.  Congratulations, you just bound off.
Pick up thumb stitches and 3 additional sts from mitten body edge.  Divide stitches evenly among 3 dpns or use markers.  Knit to desired length (about 12 rows?) and start decreasing.
K2tog at beginning of each needle or at each marker for 2-3 rows, then k2tog at beginning and end until 3 sts remain.
Break yarn, pull through remaining sts.

Left glove:
round 1: k to 1 before middle marker, m1, k1, m1, place marker, k to last st, m1, k1, m1.
round 2 and all even rounds: knit to end of round
round 3: k to 3 before marker, m1, k3, m1, pm, k to last 3 sts, m1, k3, m1.
round 5: k to last 5 sts, m1, k5, m1.
Continue thumb gusset increases until desired number of sts.  Slip thumb sts onto holder.
Knit remaining sts in round until desired length, then decrease and bind off as with right glove.
Knit thumb stitches as with right glove.

Like I said, more like guidelines.  Especially since I was so ADD with the second mitten I forgot what I did with the decreases and essentially reinvented the wheel on the spot.  It works best if you play around with decreases of your choosing (might even throw in some ssk if you're really anal about symmetry) until you get a nice round contour for the fingers.  Happy snoozing, and here's hoping you never have to budge until spring creeps over the windowsill.