Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Unfinished business (the poetry version)

Today I'm taking a leaf out of Neil Gaiman's book.  Well, not literally, because that would be mean and a little sacrilegious if you're a bibliophile like me.  More like I read his blog occasionally when my Facebook page shows it to me.  So, poetry from the attic, eh?  Actually I wonder if my mother kept any of the poetry/stories I scribbled on scraps of paper at the dining room table when I was a teenager.  Considering they've moved since then, probably not.  That might be a good thing.

In any case, I've got a little teaser to a poem that's unfinished in a different sense.  i.e. the rough draft is done and there've been a few edits since then, but it ain't finished till it hits the bookshelves (totally wishful thinking).  Probably not even then.  But without further ado...



Grandmother Genie

Grandmother Jeanie, on the wedding day
of her youngest granddaughter,
beckoned at the bedroom door
in the darkling hours before the earth had spun
its full rotation, bringing into reach
the pink orange dance of cold dawn rays.
Muffled in her fiery dreams,
illusions of warmth in her lover's clasp,
the girl emerged by inches, haltingly,
like a silkworm in reverse, shedding bright threads,
in the wake of that constant, knowing tapping
by that brown dry-knuckled hand.
On its hook by the door the white gown hung,
draped in lace like cobwebs
and spidered with fresh pearls,
which she knew could stand for tears
but thought so pretty it didn't matter;
in the shadows it hovered with a starchy shape,
the headless form of a ghostly bride.
“Grandmother, it's early, and you need your rest,
as frail as you've looked these passing years,
and what will the guests in the first four pews
not gossip about a hollow-eyed bride?”
The withered hand shot out a silent warning,
eyes darted to the curtained windowpanes.
“So time's short, come to the chair by the heater,
and I'll listen, your poppet once more.”


And if you want more "Grandmother Genie," find me a publisher.  Xlibris, like any commercially run independent publishing company, is fee for service, and considering the profitability of a poetry collection, I'm still in debt from Spring Cleaning.

I'll come back to the knitting once the drafting brain cells finish taking their midwinter vacation.

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Fairy godmother in training

Though, at the moment, a fairy godmother (in training) in need of new reserves of inspiration.  Or was it motivation?  Would help if my ears would stop hurting.  Long story to do with breaking old glasses a couple months ago and having to wear my dress glasses all the time until I get vision insurance.  Yes, my eyesight is that bad.  And because I also happen to have ears to make the LOTR Elves proud but almost no nasal bones to match (the non-structural, non-functional, non-aesthetic nature of my olfactory organ is a wonder to behold), anything heavier than a feather threatens to slice said ears clean off.  I actually might have reactive lymphadenopathy from the welts.  But where was I?

Right.  Yesterday during Ragnarok festivities, aka souffle-making and devouring, I promised finished baby sweater.  And despite odd stitch count and a little compensatory mathematics, I think it could maybe fit an actual baby.  Unfortunately, the "matching" hat is still under wraps for the moment.  Check back in about 3-4 months and it should be up, one way or another.


 The buttons are in the shape of little 4-petal flowers.  Found them at Knit 'n Purl, and I'd like to say it was love at first sight, but quite frankly it took me an unconscionably long time to locate them (blame the ears again).  They were sewn on last night with much cursing and pricking of fingers and a brain on autopilot while attempting to focus on Shakespearean language and the intricacies of frenetic filmmaking, otherwise known as the Baz Luhrman "Romeo+Juliet."  Some people craft to B-movies.  I go for Shakespeare.  Would you prefer Mozart?



Oh, and one more thing.  Because I'd like to think I've learned a thing or two from my favorite sci-fi and fantasy showrunners.  Have a look at this, why don't you?  Why (oh, why)?  Well, um, spoilers.




Saturday, February 22, 2014

It's the end of the world as we know it...

...and not just according to Norse mythology.  Stop the presses.  I might be wrong, but I think I just made a souffle.  Yeah.  I...am...souffle...girl!
 OK, I know what you're thinking: it's not that great.  But lemme tell ya, vast improvement over my last few attempts, especially if you actually got to see the inside.  Mmmm...I think I want another one just thinking about it.

So, about this souffle.  I didn't just wake up one day and decide to make souffle.  Well, actually, I sort of did.  But the inspiration for this one was Meyer lemons.  I was trolling random food websites and stumbled upon a collection of lemon dessert recipes, including Meyer lemons.  Quick sweep of the grocery store aisles and behold!  They smell divine, by the way.  So after work on Friday I hit up the store again, determined to find a baking receptacle with a smaller surface area to volume ratio than my current ramekins.  Best I could do under the circumstances here.  My local Walmart had, in stock, a collection of random baking dishes, a few flavors of tax software, and the filters for Raiden's pet fountain.  Yep, end of the world.  Better get your affairs in order.

In any case, back to this recipe (there is a recipe somewhere in here, amazingly enough): it started out with my limited knowledge of lemon curd and ended with an obsession over using ALL OF THE EGG BITS!  Well, not the shell.  Though I might be working on that.  In the right hands, i.e. NOT MINE, it should look as yummy as it tastes.  Because the taste...eggy, zesty, creamy, lightly sweet, and just a tad floral thanks to the Meyers...let's just say I'd eat it for a last meal at the end of the universe.
Meyer Lemon Curd Souffle

Ingredients:
1 tbsp butter
1 egg, separated
1 tbsp plus 2 tsp granulated sugar
1 tbsp flour
2 tbsp milk
flesh and zest of 1 Meyer lemon
Preheat oven to 375F.
1. Butter inside of ramekin and sprinkle 1 tsp sugar inside, turning to coat entire surface (more or less) evenly.
2. Beat egg yolk and 1 tbsp sugar until pale and creamy.  Add flour and beat until smooth.
3. Scald milk and pour into yolk mixture, whisking frequently to avoid scrambling eggs.  Place container over boiling water (double-boiler style, yo!) to cook custard.
4. Add lemon flesh and zest to custard and beat until well mixed.
5. Add butter and continue whisking.  Cook and stir custard until thickened, then place bottom of container in ice bath to stop cooking process.
7. Beat egg whites until white and foamy.  Add remaining 1 tsp sugar and beat until stiff peaks form.
8. Fold small amount of whites into custard to temper, then fold custard mixture into egg whites.  Fold in gently until (sort of) uniform, but do not over-mix or it'll lose air and fall flat and then what are you gonna do?
9. Pour into ramekin.  Place on middle rack (if your oven has a middle rack) and bake 20-30 minutes or until top stops jiggling and is approximately golden brown.
10. Remove from oven, allow to cool until your impatience gets the better of you and/or you're tired of watching the damn thing deflate right before your eyes.  Enjoy.

Makes 2 servings to share with a friend at the end of the world, or 1 if you're gonna die alone.

Oh, and by the way, happy Ragnarok.

If the world doesn't end, I've acquired buttons.  Next up: baby sweater.  For realsies this time.

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Oswin

"I made you a souffle, but it was too beautiful to live."
--Doctor Who, "Asylum of the Daleks"

 Call day number 3 (or is it more like 243?)

Dear Mum,

Nothing new to report.  Had to do another admission first thing this morning.   I keep hoping if I'm grouchy enough they'll go away, but it doesn't seem to be working.  Phone reception's still on the blink, but I'm working on it.  Okay, not really.  The baking's going really well.  Luv, and talk to you soon.  By the way, happy un-birthday.








So am I sitting on a pallet in the Dalek Asylum with Carmen blaring and a mess in the kitchen?  Obviously not.  I'm also a bit older than Clara Oswald, truth be told.  And she's not a character people warm up to quickly: Mary Sue to the umpteenth degree, the perfect companion, pretty and annoyingly smart and resourceful, bold as brass, and utterly devoid of personality.  Except...

I considered being an English teacher as a kid (top 3 choices were 1) teacher, 2) doctor, and 3) writer).  My bucket list contains at least 101 places to see, and who says I'm not going to?  I fancy the Doctor, or someone like him.  And most importantly....when I stress out, I make desserts.

These days, I can make a perfectly reasonable pouring custard, a decent flan, a simple chocolate mousse that's to die for, and the occasional meringue.  But what is it with souffles?

How bad can it possibly be?  Preheat oven.  Grease and sugar baking receptacle.  Separate eggs.  Mix non-egg-white ingredients together.  Whip egg whites into submission.  Fold other ingredients in evenly without letting too much air out.  Pour into baking receptacle, run thumbnail around edges to separate, and pop in oven.  Bake for 30 minutes and do not touch/shake/breathe on it until golden brown on top and fully risen.

So why, oh why, when it starts out so promising (above), does it invariably come out like it's had the stuffing kicked out of it (right)?  Answer me that, baking deities.  'Cause right now my two potential explanations are 1) I'm using the wrong receptacle (yes, I know that's a ramekin, but on call is not the time to go out and purchase special souffle dishes), and 2) souffles just don't like me.  I suspect the latter.




Eh, on second thought, I know a few places I'd like to shove a souffle right about now (besides in my face).  Have pie instead.  I call it the "Waldorf," as a play on the pear and cheese theme.  You will need:

1-1/2 cups flour
1 stick butter (cold)
about 1/2 cup water
1 medium pear (Anjou today)
splash of bourbon
4 oz cream cheese
1 tablespoon sugar

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

For crust: Cut butter into small pieces and cut/work into flour until mixture resembles damp breadcrumbs.  Work in water in about 1-tablespoon increments until dough just forms.  Form into ball and refrigerate about 20-40 minutes.

For filling: Cut pear into slices, add splash of bourbon and mix together.  In a separate bowl, soften cream cheese (you can nuke it in the microwave, nobody will judge you), add sugar, and whisk together.

Roll out dough to size specifications of pie plate (you should use about 3/5 of it on the bottom and 2/5 on top).  Press larger dough circle into pie plate.  Add pear/bourbon mixture, then spread cream cheese on top.  Cover with smaller dough circle and press edges together to seal.  Poke holes on top with fork, knife, or whatever sharp object you desire (may I suggest leaving the chainsaw for bigger projects?), enough to allow moisture/steam to vent while cooking.

Bake 45 minutes or until crust just turns light gold on top.  Allow to cool, and serve by itself or with creamy topping of choice (I'll leave that to your warped imagination for now, thanks).

Why?  Because one day I'd like a t-shirt (or apron) that says, "Cooking is how I keep from killing people."  Until then, impromptu pie recipes for the (Os)win!  Now eyes front, soldier, and get cracking.  Eggs...terminate.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Not the gumdrop buttons!

So the same ice storm that allowed me to finish the body of this cardigan between parent calls (conveniently timed at 5 minutes apart, like contractions)...

...also shut down the yarn shop, depriving me of buttons for this piece of cuteness until I no longer have time to sew them on.  I do have sleeves to do in the meantime, but I'm bored with garter stitch.  Box stitch too, truth be told.  Don't get me started on seaming/finishing.  That was a story for yesterday morning as the sleet and freezing rain were starting to come down and I had time to kill before work and a drying rack full of washed gloves and socks.
 On the other hand, the icy misery that has been winter 2013-14 in coastal SC has also led to this.  Wavewalker version 2, if you're confused.  Really, what else is one to do?  Instead of basking in boredom, I now have a scarf and hat to donate to the CMC auction, as well as Omelet shawl from last year.  Well, I say instead of.


Truth be told, I have been basking in boredom.  Blame the freezing drizzle and the lack of sunlight and my own artistic personality/seasonal-affective tendencies if you must, but it's been nice getting away from people.  Aside from, you know, answering the phone.  Bubbly personality masking misanthropic introvert?  Screw that, just misanthropic introvert for the win!  More time for writing and jam sessions at the piano and daydreaming for no good reason.  And if your mother ever told you imaginary worlds are bad for you, just tell her some of the most enduring works of art and literature and music wouldn't exist without them.  Okay, maybe don't tell her that.  Go eat your vegetables and catch up on the work you're missing for the snow days and aspire to be a doctor or lawyer or businessperson like you're supposed to.  Otherwise you might end up a 30-year-old unmarried cat-coddling female pediatrician in the small town South whose dreams involve an iconic blue box landing on her lawn and its resident madman offering her a ride to the furthest reaches of the universe.  At least I'm realistic about it: knowing my weird luck it'd be Peter Capaldi and not Matt Smith, and he'd be on his way to someone much more interesting, but we'd have a blast anyway.  Joking, of course!  Everybody knows my perfect Valentine's Day involves Tom Hiddleston and a Shakespeare First Folio.  Yes, I know that doesn't belong in the real world either.  Stop eating my gumdrop buttons already!

Monday, February 3, 2014

Rule #408

Because if time were the boss of me, I'd be at work, up to my eyeballs in catching up after the ice storm.  Incidentally, I don't know my February schedule because the copy I should've picked up is in the office I didn't hydroplane my front-wheel-drive light-as-air hatchback over to all last week.  Flying blind.  Liberating, really.

On the other hand, since I've had literally nowhere to go for the past week (blame the ice, the rain, or the fact that they've closed down a bunch of the public parking lots at the beach for the foreseeable future), I've been catching up on knitting.  Now, excuse me while I untangle myself from about 8 separate strands of yarn and 4 extra long dpns and post pictures.

 Yes, help, I'm buried in projects!  By the way, this is Wavewalker, version 2.  For version 1, see post #70 (I think?).  Different provisional cast-on this time around, going to see if it makes a difference because I always find myself picking stitches out one at a time to reveal the live working edge on a crochet cast-on.  Slowly.  And in the right order (if I'm lucky).  Also, really need to stop knitting to Doctor Who.  Sand lattice should never take 2 hours for 3-3/4 repeats.  Mostly due to confusion over the initial slip stitch (this version, sl knitwise, and I think it looks better).  That and I can't stop quoting the Doctor now, except for a couple of detours into Sherlock, at which point I finally gave up and threw the yarn back in the bag.

What we have here on the bottom is one of my favorite baby knitty.com patterns, Haiku.  Mind you I've never made one of these before, by which I mean actual cardigans of any persuasion, so I'm literally flying by the seat of my pants (OK, not literally, worst English major evar, etc., forget the banana and the Cup o' Soup).  I love that it's more like a set of math problems than a strict pattern.  This could be good.  Or...was I any good at math in school?  Mistake #1: casting on an odd number to make gauge.  But hell, I'm stubborn, I'll make it work!
So, in other news, I found the beach yesterday.  Had to park a few miles north of my usual spot and risk life and limb and suppress a bit of road rage to do it.  *Sigh,* it's been a long winter.  What'd that pesky groundhog have to say for itself?