A Study in Scarlet

I just submitted my second residency application this afternoon.  This is apropos of absolutely nothing, but I had the urge to announce it to somebody somewhere as a reason to celebrate.  So, to residency applications?  Seems like a weird toast.  Better to knit something instead, or maybe write about a knitting project.

Anyone who knows me knows my attitude towards socks.  Sure, there are all these wonderful yarns and clever patterns made specifically for the art of sock-making, and sure I don't suffer from second-glove syndrome that badly.  But, meh, socks.  Who needs 'em?  Unless, of course, one is looking for a quick project to take one's mind off other things (looming deadlines and lack of weekends, for instance) and has limited quantities of leftover yarn to get rid of.  Then one turns to things like...fishnet stockings?

The following is my list of reactions and amendments to the Lolita pattern from knitty.com, link included so you can follow along.  I'm what you might refer to as a "creative" knitter, so let the bullshit commence.

 Chapter 1: Casting On
"What the ---- is a figure-8 cast-on?" she asks, flummoxed right off the bat.  Actually, scroll down a little further, to the link labeled "short-row heel."  When you click that link it'll show you how to do a short-row...toe, but under that are your instructions for the figure-8.  Awesome.

Chapter 2: Mutations for Mutants
Do I have freakishly short toes?  Um...maybe.  Turns out this pattern takes a lot of trying on and adjusting of repeats.  Think I did 2 repeats and then had to plunge into the lace rounds.  Also, 4 inches from the heel is not a long space for a US size 5-1/4 foot...

Chapter 3: Twisty...
And turny.  Wibbly wobbly timey wimey?  This pattern spins up the foot and leg, much to my surprise and dismay while trying to fit and block.  Might want to remember where the beginning of your round is.

Chapter 4: Heel Instructions Are For Sissies
So, about that short-row heel.  Any short-row heel will do?  I finally settled with trial-and-erroring this one, found thanks to the miracle of Google/Bing.

Chapter 5: Grow a Pair, Knit in the Round
My warped aesthetic sense found the gaping hole over the calf a little disconcerting.  To do the entire pattern in the round, turn those sl1 k1s at the beginning and end of the row in Pattern 3 into knit stitches.  You will find yourself doing a total of at least 5 increase blocks if you hope to get the thing on your leg (so pace yourself accordingly), and for those your inc pattern will be something like this:
Round 1: k1, m1, k1 *yo, k2tog, rep from * to last 2 sts, k1, m1, k1.
Round 2: knit.
Round 3: k1, m1, *yo, skp, rep from * to last st, m1, k1.
Round 4: knit.

Chapter 6: How Big Is This Cuff Anyway?
So at the cuff I went to straight needles/knitting flat.  But seriously, how many repeats of a 4-row block?  I stuck with just enough for 3 eyelets down either side and left it at that.  On a side note, was it just me, or did it seem like the ribbing was uneven?  I'm pretty sure one of my stockings got a clump of 4 stockinette stitches on one side and 2 on the other.  Can't even speak for the other sock.  Holy arithmetic, Batman!



And yet for all that, they came out...rather nice.  If nice is the word for a pair of scarlet fishnets.  What would Irene Adler do?  Yes, I'm well aware that's the wrong story, but I'd like to think she'd appreciate the socks.  Oh, socks.