Necessity's a Mother

Mother of invention?  Um...not exactly.  But at the moment I can finally boast 2 finished sleeves for Cecilia sweater.  In fact, here they are in all their unblocked glory.

Unfortunately the reason for this embarrassment of riches is a little, well, embarrassing.

I have to call myself a writer because, well, I write.  Obsessively.  For the hell of it and for no particular reason at all.  I also have to call myself a writer because I'm as weird in my writing habits as any established author.  Mechanical pencil and composition book?  Check.  Massive swathes of erasing and crossing out?  Check.  Word documents on Open Office?  Check.  All saved on a single 10-year-old flashdrive with no other purpose but to contain every poem, story, novel fragment, and brain dump accumulated over an entire decade?  Check.  No backup?  Come on, people, you mean you haven't seen stupider writing tactics?  My hearty congratulations, and may I suggest you stop reading my blog and go check out a real book.  While I wait for a guy named Lou in Irvine, CA, to receive what's left of my flashdrive and recover my collected works from what I can only hope is the damn thing's still-functioning brain.  Figures it's the hundredth or so time I knock my laptop off the couch with the drive still plugged in that the USB connector decides to give up the ghost and snap clean (or rather, jaggedly) off.  Or is it the hundred-and-first?

Anyhoo, here I sit with aching fingers and teeming brain (cross-reference Keats on that one, will ya, and correct me if I'm wrong?), with nothing to save my projects to besides my bastard lovechild of a cockroach and a brick wall, aka my ThinkPad, and no excuse not to make headway on some knitting.  At least while I still have both arms, both legs, and no flashdrive.

Get off my soapbox!

Once in a blue moon I get the urge to talk one of the forbidden subjects, i.e. politics, religion, sex.  Most of the time I find it easily suppressible with a good knitting project and a glass of wine or several.  And then I got bogged down in 1930s tunic sweater (which is going to end up 1980s midriff sweater at the rate I'm going) and started getting distracted by Facebook.  It turns out (to borrow a Douglas Adams-ism) that I've got a lot of very politically minded Facebook friends.  You get those too?  The ones that really don't post at all except to rant about gun laws and race relations and birth control and Obamacare (that's for those of us who live stateside, by the way--the rest of you can just point and laugh if you want to)?  This is my answer to them.  Disclaimer, please stop reading if you are easily offended and/or just wanted to get into the knitting pretty pretty please.

Anyhoo, obviously I'm not one to talk as an American.  I was born outside the country, grew up with my ears full of Chinese idioms and my belly full of rice and stir-fry, and pretty much hung out with whoever didn't judge me by the slant of my eyes or my Oxford English vocabulary.  But if you want to get to know the very core of your country, you check with the people with the least amount of "foreign" influence.  The ones who haven't traveled outside the country--heck, probably haven't left the state if they could help it--who grew up in the same place generation after generation, and whose great-great-grandchildren will probably die on the same piece of land their ancestors were born on.  Horry County, SC, seems as reasonable a study population as any where that's concerned.  And taking an informal poll (readily volunteered, mind) of the more vocal locals (ooh, that was an awful rhyme if I ever heard one), this is what I've found.  Keeping in mind that this is in monetary terms, not idealistic ones, i.e. what will you shell out your hard-earned inflatable dollar for.  You taking notes, Mr. President?

The quintessential American does not want to pay for:
1) anything involving the word "government"
2) healthcare
3) sex ed/birth control/women's issues (still trying to figure out if "children" counts in this category or healthcare)
4) education
5) the arts
6) rainforests in Africa/South America, the hole in the ozone layer, insert latest environmental thingy here

The quintessential American will gladly pay for:
1) guns
2) oil (though at a reduced price like it used to be)
3) religion (do I add "fetuses" to this one, or is that a separate issue?)
4) sports
5) a standing army

On a related note (see category 2, number 4 above), anybody else wonder what would happen if we turned some of the bigger and more frustrating international summits into mud-wrestling matches?  For one thing, I think they'd get a bigger audience.

That might just about do it.  Should be a long while before I do this again, and seriously, I never judge a knitter by his/her political beliefs, so please extend me the same benefit of a doubt and ignore this post if you're easily offended.  And also, get off my soapbox!

Regenerations

As I've mentioned about a gazillion times, this fall I was...sort of gently coerced...to give up my Claudette scarf and wristwarmers for a good cause (yes, I consider funding for the arts a good cause, don't make me get on my soapbox now).  Winter came and went, and I used heavier/warmer stuff while concentrating on lace.  In early spring, I wished I hadn't stupidly offered up nice warm scraps for the price of a discount concert ticket, but projects came and went and I couldn't really spare the time.  But with summer starting to wind down, it was time to re-evaluate my to-do list.

Small victories, indeed, but on the eve of the announcement of the next Doctor, I officially present my "regenerated" scarf and wristwarmer set.  Like the Doctor, it seems to have changed its face (earthier colorway, less crochet-work on the scarf and more coverage on the wristwarmers).  If it deserves a different name than "Claudette," I would completely understand.  One day I might even come up with a good one.

For yarn, I'd estimate this at...worsted-plus?  Novelty/handspun with varying thicknesses along the length welcome.

 Claudette gloves:

Cast on 24 sts and work in the round.
Ribbing: k1p1 around for 9 rounds or desired length.
Body: knit even 6 rounds or desired length.

Thumb gusset:
round 1: k12, place marker, m1, k1, place marker, k to end of round
round 2: knit
round 3: k12, sl marker, m1, k3, sl marker, k to end of round
round 4: knit
repeat increases until you have 11 sts between markers, knit 1 round, then knit to marker, slip sts between markers to waste yarn, co 1 st, knit to end of round.

Body: knit 6 rows or to desired length, then work in k1p1 rib for 6 rows or desired length.  Bind off.

Thumb:
transfer sts on waste yarn to needles.
k1 round, pick up and knit 2 sts over cast-off edge (13 sts total)
next round: k to last 3 sts, knit those 3 together using centered double decrease of choice (10 sts total).
knit 3 rounds or to desired length.
work k1p1 rib 6 rounds or desired length.  Bind off.

 Claudette scarf:
Cast on 28 stitches or desired width.
Knit 2 rows (garter stitch border).
Next row (body): k2, k1p1 to last 2 sts, k2 (the k2s form the garter stitch border).
Repeat body row to desired length or until almost out of yarn.
Bind off.
Pick up last stitch in bind-off on crochet needle, chain 12 sts, attach to body.  Repeat crochet loops evenly across bottom of work (mine formed 4 even loops on each side--see pics).
Pick up 1 stitch at opposite end of scarf and repeat crochet loops.





Well, so much for that.   Seems a bit anticlimactic.  And still not a ginger.

Vacation Blues

You'd think I'd be a little more productive with all this time on my hands.  That, it seems, is the problem.  6 shortcake biscuits, 1 bowl of custard, and 2 peach (peach/pecan/bourbon?  how Deep South can we get?) pound cakes later, and I am...wet-blocking double-secret-probation project.  Been wet-blocking it since night before last, I think.  One of these days, I'll get the moisture ratio right.

Also on the needles: Claudette wrist-warmer #1!  Though it turns out my only sufficient skeins of Moda-Dea novelty yarn are of a colorway more Renoir than Monet.  Come to think of it, it's more Klimt than Renoir.  Methinks I might have to rename the result, though honestly I'll wear them just the same.  Unless somebody decides to auction them off again.  Which is entirely possible.

Well, since discussing double-secret-probie project (DSP?  I'm lazy.) is right out and I am decidedly lacking in pictures of everything else I'm procrastinating on, I decided to start a new blog.  This one is pretty much all pictures.  Woohoo!  Spent way more time than I can really justify on the panels for Episode 1.  But really, when I was torching my wet-block monstrosity, I kept thinking in bad puns, and the result was "Dr. Strangeknits: Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Embrace the Laceweight."  You may find it here.

On that note, perhaps it's time to figure out how to make productive use of my remaining vacation.

Waiting for Godot

One day the absurdities of call will stop hitting me over the head with their innate existentialism.  I mean, here I am waiting for the office to roll the phone lines over to me so that I can answer questions about everything from fevers to constipation, all of which I know are guaranteed to happen when I try to 1) sleep, 2) drive, 3) cook/eat, 4) brush my teeth, 5) hit the loo.  I wonder how many traffic tickets happen as a result of doctors answering their phones.

In the meantime, of course, it occurs to me I haven't blogged in a while.  This is partly deliberate since I have a project flying stealth on the needles for the foreseeable future.  My new life goal, by the way, is to produce a knitty.com-worthy pattern.  So far this one looks promising, which means (surprise, surprise!) all my other projects are currently on hold.  Including Cecilia sweater, Claudette scarf/wristwarmers, and the ever-procrastinated-on Dalek cross-stitch.  Well, what else is new?

Baking front hasn't been idle, though.  I really need to do this bourbon peach pie again sometime, especially paired with salted caramel ice cream.  Oh, joy!

(Easy As) Bourbon Peach Pie

Crust:
1-1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 stick unsalted butter, cut into small pieces
1-2 tbsp water

Filling:
2 medium yellow peaches, sliced
2 tbsp brown sugar (or to taste)
splash of bourbon (to taste)
1 tbsp flour for thickening

1.  Combine flour and butter in mixing bowl, work by hand or mixer until mixture resembles wet crumbs/balls.
2.  Add water 1 tbsp at a time until dough just forms.  Refrigerate until ready to roll out.
3.  Preheat oven to 350 degrees (F).
4.  Combine filling ingredients and mix well.
5.  Divide dough roughly 2:1.  Roll larger ball into circle that covers bottom of pie tin and press into tin.
6.  Pour peach mixture into crust.
7.  Roll smaller dough ball into thin circle, cover top of pie and press together at edges.  Pierce top a few times to allow venting.
8.  Bake 45-60 min, checking after 30 min and every 10 min thereafter.  Crust should turn lightly golden and filling should partly caramelize.
9.  Serve warm and topped with ice cream.  Reheats well in microwave.
10.  Enjoy!

And that's all she wrote.  1 more hour until the dreaded call begins.  When does vacation start again?

Speaking of 1930s-inspired tunic sweaters...

Well, we were.  You'll have to pay attention next time.  No, not really: speaking of 1930s-inspired tunic sweaters, none were actually harmed in the making of this post.  Or, you know, completed.  Long stretches of plot, trial, error, rip, and re-trial in front of the TV ('cause, come on, it's not like I can get off the couch while tangled in yard upon yard of heavy laceweight), and one begins to long for the polar opposite of endless Estonian lace and stockinette and shaping.  Like textured stitches.  Dpns.  Multiples of twos and threes.  Fast cast-on and cast-off.  Minimal blocking.  Preferably somewhat unisex.

 Enter McGee.  NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee, to be exact.  Cute, brainy, generous.  Able to hack into any secure government server at the drop of a hat.  Mystery writer on the down-low.  It was love at first sight.  Did I mention beautiful hands and a predilection for vertical stripes?  Eureka, a pattern was born!  Fingerless gloves, naturally.  K1p2 rib and an elongated version of moss stitch that I jokingly dubbed "lichen" (plant kingdom jokes FTW!) play on the vertical stripes theme.  Sizing is mathematical but does not require an Ivy League degree or several to achieve--just pick your multiples of 2, 3, and 6, and run with it.  In the lightly shimmery blue sportweight it makes you wonder what you ever really needed that finicky old lace for.  In gray worsted-weight it suggests the linkiness of chain mail while leaving the fingertips free for keyboards and tablets yet providing a bit of warmth for midwinter crime scene investigations.  Or more likely all-night MMO-RPG sessions.  Here's looking at you, Elflord.

 Without further ado, my first "real" pattern: McGee/Dear Abby

 Lichen stitch:
Rounds 1-3: k1p1 to end
Rounds 4-6: p1k1 to end
Repeat in multiples of 3 rounds ad infinitum

Cuff:
Using dpns or circulars, co 36 sts (or multiple of 6 for gauge).  Join and work in round.
k1p2 to end of round.  Repeat for total of 12 rounds or until desired length.

Body:
Work 6 rounds in lichen stitch, then shape thumb gusset.

Thumb gusset:
Round 1: work lichen stitch for 18 sts, pm, m1, p1, m1, pm, work lichen stitch to end of round.
Round 2-3: work lichen stitch 18 sts, sl marker, k1, p1, k1, sl marker, work lichen stitch to end of round.
Round 4: work lichen stitch 18 sts, sl marker, m1, work lichen stitch to next marker, m1, sl marker, work lichen stitch to end of round.
Round 5-6: work lichen stitch 18 sts, sl marker, work lichen stitch to marker, sl marker, work lichen stitch to end of round.
Note: after every other increase round, you will be working a knit stitch on either side of the marker.  This is intentional, so, to quote Ford Prefect in the Hitchhiker's Guide series, "Don't panic."
Repeat rounds 4-6 until you have 15 sts between the markers.
Next round: work lichen stitch to marker, transfer stitches between markers to waste yarn, co 1 stitch across the gap, work lichen stitch to end of round.
Work lichen stitch 6 more rounds or until glove body covers MCP joints--I mean 1st knuckles!

Little finger:
Round 1: work 1st 4 sts in lichen stitch, transfer subsequent sts to waste yarn until last 4 sts, co 2 sts across gap, work last 4 sts in lichen stitch. 10 sts total.
Work in lichen stitch for 8 more rounds (9 total) or until desired length.
Bind off.

Ring finger:
Round 1: transfer next 4 sts adjacent to little finger on front and back of glove to needles.  Work 1st 4 sts in lichen stitch, co 2 sts across gap, work last 4 sts in lichen stitch, pick up and knit 2 sts along co edge of little finger.  12 sts total.
Work in lichen stitch for 11 more rounds (12 rounds total) or until desired length.
Bind off.

Middle finger:
Round 1: transfer next 5 sts on front and back of glove to needles.  Work 1st 5 sts in lichen st, co 2 sts, work last 5 sts in lichen st, pick up and knit 2 sts along co edge of ring finger.  14 sts total.
Work in lichen stitch 11 more rounds or until desired length.
Bind off.

Index finger:
Round 1: transfer remaining 10 sts to needles.  Work in lichen st, pick up and knit 2 sts along co edge of middle finger.  12 sts total.
Work in lichen stitch 8 more rounds or until desired length.
Bind off.

Thumb:
Round 1: transfer the 15 held sts to needles.  Work in lichen st, pick up and knit 3 sts along co edge of body.  18 sts total.
Round 2: Work in lichen st to last 3 sts, sk2p (slip 1, k2tog, psso).  16 sts total.
Work in lichen st 4 more rounds or until desired length.
Bind off.

Repeat everything for second glove (hey, ambidextrous pattern!  Told you it was simple!).

Weave in ends to finish, and enjoy!

fruity custardy tarty things!

 

And other distractions from knitting, I should say.  Well, there's only so much time one can spend stuck on the couch with laceweight merino before the stir-craziness hits.  Or the hand cramps.  Or the Charlie horses.  Besides, it's nice being able to work in a medium where the worst case scenario involves eating the screw-ups.  So, um, behold my attempt to combine pastry crust, fruit, and custard into something vaguely edible (above).  One day they might even turn out pretty.  Though I'll settle for not being impossible to pry out of their tinfoil casings.  Then maybe the recipe would be worth disseminating.

In other news, apparently plastic to-go dishes can double as decor.  Just add water, knockout roses too short to go in a vase, and tea-lights, and voila instant elegance.  And I'd been wondering what to do with my living room to make it look more me and less previous occupants.  Fun with flowers and fire, apparently.  Yeah, wut?

Oh, and I promise I'm actually making progress on lace sleeve.  Pictures to follow.  Meanwhile, have some soothing music or something...
I kid, but I did manage to snap some decent photos at the Bellagio in Vegas the other weekend, so at least you might enjoy the view.